So I was walking outside today and heard something rustling in the bushes. I know it’s Halloween, but I still didn’t expect to find a giant spider hiding under there.

Instead of trying to bite me, the spider asked if I could take some pictures for him. He bought a pumpkin recently and wanted to do a photoshoot with it, but he doesn’t own a camera.

…So apparently we have talking tarantula-like spiders that are definitely very real and not from Spirit Halloween in North Carolina. This one’s name is Greg.

Unfortunately, we didn’t get very far into the photoshoot before a squirrel came by and tried to snatch Greg’s pumpkin.

Fortunately, Greg can be pretty intimidating when he wants to be and scared the squirrel away.

Greg really loves his pumpkin.

Anyway, I thought Greg and his pumpkin were a bit exposed living in the bushes of a squirrel-infested college campus, so I decided to bring him home with me. That, and he wouldn’t stop hugging my arm after I offered to let him spend the night, so I guess he’s here to stay.

I’m still not allowed to touch the pumpkin, though.

Happy Halloween from me and Greg! I hope your day is as exciting as Greg’s was when he found out pumpkins come in larger sizes.